Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
