i permit you to call me
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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