I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
