i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize