haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
