Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
