Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
