Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Randomize
