The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
