Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
