don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
