Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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