problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
