its not stalking. its research.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
