Dual....:-)
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
