i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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