Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
