i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
