I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
