There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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