ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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