So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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