I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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