sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
