in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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