Grow some girl-balls and come out already
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
