I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
there is glitter all over my balls
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
