Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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