I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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