the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
