Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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