Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
