I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize