If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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