you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
