My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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