And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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