On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
