he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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