I just pynch a tree in the face
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
