Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize
