Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
