you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
