Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Enjoy the penises
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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