in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
