For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize