Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
