you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
