Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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