we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
