he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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