How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
