So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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