Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
