nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
