New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Randomize
