WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
