I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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