No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
