Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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