This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
